I keep, keep bleeding love.

I'm practically a Peruvian television star! Today the press came to do a piece on Hogar de Esperanza and some of us volunteers were interviewed and photographed. The interviewer asked me how my experience has been here. Lucky for him and for me, I was doing some reflecting earlier in the day.

This place has changed how I see life in general. Life is too short not to love profoundly, like I have been shown here in the orphanage. Seeing the resilience of the kids gives me hope. I came here to help, but in reality, I am the one who has been helped, through the love of the kids and the support of the staff and other awesome volunteers aka family. While praying for the kids and their ability to forgive those who have hurt them in the past, I have the courage to take steps to repair my brokenness as well. My capacity to love has greatly increased since coming here.

Don't get me wrong- it's not all butterflies and rainbows here. It's insanely hard, but definitely worth it. I never knew I could or would love and adore these kids as much as I do. My heart will likely bleed when I leave them and this place on December 2nd. However, I have learned without a doubt that if the Holy Spirit (or "the silent nudging that never goes away") calls you to do something, DO IT!!!!! He will equip you and give you courage, and it just may be the best thing you've ever done.



The whole orphanage took a trip near the mountains on Wednesday to swim, play games, and enjoy this time together celebrating the 10th anniversary of the orphanage. Above- Jorge and I hanging out.




Jo and Abel representing the yellow team.



Stephanie and Rosita



Bryson and Jhon



The cooks even got to come!



Paul trying to pick me up! He looks like he is in pain.



This is my favorite picture in the whole world.



Oh, Alejandro, melter of my heart.


David looks pretty ferocious.



Go team verde!!!

One tangential post!

I feel like I have a little to say about a lot of things so instead of posting measly lil' things, I'm going to blob them all together with nice segues.

Speaking of segues...

Today I had a 9-hour house covering with the Luces, the house containing 11 of the oldest girls. You would think that 9 hrs + 11 girls would = 911, but besides a splitting headache at the end, everything was pretty calm and chill throughout the day. They always want to watch movies and oddly enough, they have a fascination with Korean soap operas of sorts. However, I found out at the END of my shift that they are no longer able to watch them. This one they watched today was bizarre. It was about a blind girl who keeps running away from her husband because she doesn't want him to see her die soon. She looked perfectly healthy to me. Anyways, that's a tangent I didn't even mean to take.

I delivered the long-overdue presents from my mom and her friend, Betty, to the girls: really cute designer t-shirts. I told them I wanted to take pictures of them in the shirts to show my mom and her friend. This one statement turned the house into beauty boot camp. Nails were painted, hair was curled, hair was straightened, eye shadow and lip shimmer was applied. And finally, pictures were taken! It was a fun process that I know they all enjoyed, except the tomboy, Marita, who opted out. The best part about today was that I saw more confidence appear in them all. I tell them they are beautiful all the time, but I think today, some of them might have seen that for the first time.

Marjori just got her nails "did".




Marjori just got her nails "did".



Consuelo before...



And after! Bautiful no matter which picture you look at!




Marita, just lounging around, thinking all those girls are crazy.






Estefany getting her curls on.






Isabel in her shirt and skort...remember those?!!










The beauty train

The girls really made me laugh today without trying to. They were decorating (what Peruvians do best!) for the orphanage's anniversary week next week (9 years?), and they were passing back and forth the scotch tape. However, they didn't use the word "cinta" for tape- they said "scotch". It cracks me up what they use from English. I tried not to imagine them asking for whiskey each time they really asked for tape, but it was hard to resist and I had a small chuckle to myself. Not that adolescents drinking is funny or anything. Who do you think I am??

Ok, one more funny bit and I must go. These days, I have been assigned to tutor 8 of our students who are failing English. I try to keep my lessons veand high-energy and hands-on and it proven successful and FUN! All the other kids who are doing well in English are asking to take my class, too! I was giving a quiz on the whiteboard and it was time to review the answers. I'm trying to use as much English as I can, so I was saying "Number 1" and then reviewing the answer. When it was time for "Number 5", the kids were all trying to sound out the right answer, but their pronunciation is just really off. Also, English has a lot of different sounds that Spanish doesn't have and vice versa. Jhampier in the front row was so excited and animated because he really thought he knew how to say "FIVE", but instead he kept yelling "FUCK", "FUCK", "FUCK!" ESL kids say the darndest things!

I miss college!

So, I went back to college today! Four of us volunteers took four of the older kids from the orphanage to one of the private colleges for a big free tour day they were having. Kevin, who used to work here and is now volunteering at the orphanage in Pacasmayo an hour and a half away, and his girlfriend, Sam, took six of their kids. It got off to a rough start. See Figure A.




- Figure A- your typical "first day of school" pics that you NEVER wanted taken.

There was a lot of stalling and waiting around before the tour got underway. The kids had to fill out paperwork and they were all embarrassed about what school they go to, not officially knowing what grade they are in, and knowing they would likely never be able to afford to go to college. There was loud music blasting to energize the kids as well as a clown on stilts. You think I'm kidding. See Figure B.


He was even posing bc he saw us taking pictures. What a way to say "congratulations on growing up" by bringing a clown to college tour day!






Hello from college. It rocks!

The day got better. The kids got to go around to different booths of possible careers and then got led to the corresponding classroom for a more in-depth look. One of my girls wanted to go to the Law booth, which then led us to the fake courtroom. Then we all went to the med school booth because I heard you could see cadavers. I knew that would at least get SOME reaction out of the kids! The sights and smells definitely brought me right back to my dissecting days! I can't say that I miss it too terribly.





The boys just look so overjoyed to be spending time with us.

After the tour wrapped up, we took the kids to Pizza Hut. It was a nice treat just to spend time together. I tried to reinforce that whatever they did or didn't get out of today, what we really wanted them to know was that we love them and believe in them. It was a good excuse to spend some quality time together and encourage them in whatever hopes and dreams they have for their futures.

I think it was rather fitting that I happened to watch The Blind Side for the first time tonight. (ok, so I'm a LITTLE behind in my movies.) I ended up crying during the movie, of course. The power of someone believing in you is such a transforming and motivating thing. I was weeping at the fact that most of our kids grew up without anyone believing in them or telling them that were smart, beautiful, or worthy of love. I pray that it is not too late for them to realize the Truth and, more importantly, their identity in Him. Please join me in praying for them. And if you have a minute more to spare, please pray for me, too, that I will be a reflection of the Son for them.

Oh, blunders! And a bonfire, too!

Learning a new language has opened up a whole new realm of laughing at myself! I knew it would be a humbling experience, feeling like a toddler trying to express wants, needs, and thoughts. However, I'm really enjoying seeing it as a process, reviewing my growth, speed, and vocabulary in relation to when I first got here. I know I still have a long way to go, but now I at least feel like I've "aged" a few more years, speaking more like a 6 year old! I thought I would highlight some of the funnier mess-ups I've made here.

Another volunteer and I were at the grocery store, trying to find ingredients to make cookies. We were looking for the flour, which I didn't know how to say in Spanish. The other volunteer told me the word which I thought I pronounced correctly until the grocery attendant gave me a funny look. The word, harina, sounded a lot like the word arena, which is sand. I had asked if they had sand to make cookies with.

The other day we were organizing the rancho, the other building where groups stay when they come to volunteer. I was happy to report to the director and another worker at the orphanage that the ranch was organized, except instead, I guess I said that the ranch was peed on! The worker, who was in fits of laughter, was asking about the giant who peed on the ranch and has not let me forget that.

Last week, I was helping to tutor 2 of the older girls. Since they didn't have school or homework all week, I decided to try to work on their English with the help of a few different apps on my iPad. They had to click on the right animal after the name of the animal was said in English. Some of them were more difficult (anteater, yak), so I was giving them clues in Spanish. For yak, I said "tiene hornos", thinking I said "it has horns." The looks and the laughter from the girls suggested otherwise. I thought, "shoot. Did I just say it's horny or something?" No worries -I just said it has ovens.

The highlight of my past week was having a bonfire for all the kids one night. We roasted marshmallows, made s'mores for them all and sang songs around the campfire. My favorite part was seeing Jorge fall asleep in his chair with a marshmallow still in his mouth!! I swear, that kid can fall asleep anywhere!



Poor lil' booger!


















Oscar's first s'more ever!

Betty's bread-baking bash!

Once upon a time in a land far, far away named Moche (a tiny pueblo about 7 minutes from the orphanage) monkeys in dresses claim the middle of the sidewalk (true story with picture as proof) while AMAZING bread makers adorn the corners.


Betty the bread maker has such a sweet smile and spirit that it seems as if it soaks into the already-delicious breads and makes them sweeter. I faithfully cross her bread path on my way to aerobics a few times a week (oh, the irony) stopping for "pudding", a combo between "monkey bread" and bread pudding. One day my friend Curiosity asked Betty the bread maker if she would teach a bunch of gringas her delicious bread ways and she said YES!

Last Saturday morning, 6 of us ventured out, with literally not much clue as to our destination ("get off the bus here, walk 3 blocks(she didn't write which way, and ask for Nicholas in the bakery.") Good thing it's a small town. Everyone knows Nicholas. Everyone is curious as to why 6 gringas are looking for him.


THE Nicholas



Sweet Betty

She taught us how to make "pudding" and we got to help make "galletitas", or little cookies. After that process, I am aware that I am a eating a little bit of cookie with my large amount of sugar and lard. She put us through the baking ropes: we kneaded, we pressed, we sprinkled, we tasted. Such a cool experience-very rich, very local. Just what I was going for. She let us take all 75 cookies home to give to the kids and then later delivered the "pudding" when it was done baking in the wood-burning oven. We plan to go back to teach her how to make pizza in the wood-burning oven.



The "pudding" on it's way into the oven




I'm a kneading fool.




All the girls in the bakery dungeon.




I would be totally fine being locked in here.




The wood-burning oven




Oh for LARD's sake



Ashley admiring the finished product.




Betty really IS a happy person.

Mi cumpleaños!

So it seems like I have fallen off the blog wagon. Yes, I plan to get back on. It just takes a little "umph" to get my "rice butt" on board. That means being intentional and blocking out the voices that say I don't have very much "blog-worthy" stuff to say. Yes, I will stop using so many quotation marks.

Just 11 days ago, I celebrated my 29th birthday here in Peru. My volunteer family came up with a unique way of celebrating. Inspired by the movie Yes Man in which Jim Carey must say yes to everything, these crazy cats made me do dare after dare in the most public of places. If I refused, I had to don a piece of hideous rejected clothing from our orphanage garage sale. Some of the dares included: singing an Andrew Lloyd Webber song at the top of my lungs on the ledge of a fountain at the mall, kissing a duck mascot on his bill in the grocery store, eating a grilled cow heart (which is delicious, by the way), doing 25 jumping jacks after eating said cow heart while on the median of a 4-way BUSY intersection, etc. We had a lot of good laughs together...mostly at my expense. But I'm used to laughing at myself so it's all good.


Before birthday events commenced, sensing something fishy was going to happen.


My new birthday outfit and accessory



Planting one right on his kisser/quacker



Yet another outfit up/downgrade

These people really know me (or they listened well) and took me to a karaoke place to top off the night! Both Journey and Madonna made their presence known at Rustica in Trujillo, Peru!



Bryson looks really captivated by my singing, huh.