Déjà vu

This is my sentiment as I pack up today for a month of Africa. A month of unknowns, likely hardships and moments way outside the comfort zone, insecurities, anxieties, fear, pain, etc. Five years ago today, I was packing for a year of service volunteering in an orphanage in poverty-stricken Peru. When I feel like I have experienced this moment before, it's because I actually have. It's so easy to let anxiety lead the show, take the ropes, steer the wheel, make decisions (or avoid making decisions) because of fear. Five years ago as I was readying myself for the adventure, I had some blips along the way too--poor planning and feeling disorganized--to the point of misplacing my passport and needing to postpone my trip in order to find it!!! I was so pissed at myself. Fast-forward to current day: poor planning and disorganized mess= scrambling at last minute, feeling like a human stress ball over trying to get a new location to volunteer and getting sick from all the stress. But what a lesson in having HOPE and seeing God's faithfulness YET AGAIN. When you leave room for Him to work and expect miracles (thank you, Allgeyers), it becomes SO evident that it was NOT YOU who made it happen! Looking back in the rear view mirror of my life, He's always come through. 100%. I'm definitely leaving room in my backpack for God- I would hate to attempt an adventure without Him. I'm counting on His grace to fix whatever I screw up! 😜